Saturday, September 8, 2012

5 Things Expected of Me Now That I am Sober


I had heard my friend Bill share this in a meeting once, I believe we were talking about expectations of other people and of ourselves.  He said a great way to get to people to take a look at themselves  once you have become sober is to ask them 5 things they expect of you now that you are sober.  Well I posed this very question to someone who is no longer in my life.  She replied with loyalty, honesty, kindness, love, and patience...  Dictionary.com defines loyalty as the state or quality of being loyal; faithfulness to commitments or obligations.  Loyal is defined as faithful to any leader, party, or cause, or to any person or thing conceived as deserving fidelity: a loyal friend.  I guess she did not get the memo on loyalty.  Anyways, what is done is done, and I have to live my life true to the principals of AA.  I know I am not now, nor will I ever be perfect, but like we say, progress not perfection.  The last few weeks have beat my ass just as much if not more than any three week bender ever did...  But I am here sober, feeling it all with an open heart, and a very clear conscience.  The really nice part is knowing that I am loyal, honest, kind, loving and as patient as I can be.  Last night I spent about three hours putting the last two and a half months with her into my own words...  After some contemplation it occurred to me that nothing good would come from me sharing all that with all of you.  Although it is some of my best writing to date, all that hurt and pain needs to be kept exactly where it is.  I did however share it with her.  That I did feel necessary.  With that being said I feel good.  I feel good with the effort I gave her, the effort I continue to give myself and others. I am a good man with lots of love to give and as long as I continue to stay sober, do the next right thing and believe that God will take care of me, someone will come along that will love me for those 5 things and she will give them in return!  Today will be spent going over my gratitude list in my head and hopefully I can get it on paper tonight.  I will be spending the day with the three women whose love will never fail me, my mother, my sister and Addie my baby niece.  I am so very lucky to have a family that loves me so much...  As the tears run down my face, I will leave you with this...  If I can change, so can you!


God Bless and Happy Saturday!

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