I am going to start off with a quote from the big book:
"Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go through with it." Do
not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything
like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point
is, that we were willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles
we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress
rather than spiritual perfection.
Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic,
and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought."
When I read/hear this part of how it works I tend to think of my spiritual progress. I think about how far I have come in the last year. Today I can honestly say that I am an alcoholic and could not manage my own life. I know no human that could have relieved my addictions and after seeking God, he has relieved so much more than my alcoholism and drug addiction. The biggest cause of my using for so many years was fear. Today my faith in a higher power of my understanding has relieved all of that fear and doubt of the future. Recently I was let go from my job (purposefully) and have begun working full time on getting my company up and running. This has made a huge dent in my finances. A year ago I would have been in sheer panic. Today, the fear of economic insecurity has truly left me. I know as long as I do my part and have the faith that God will continue to keep me safe just as he has done my entire life, everything will work out. I have to believe that even during the overdoses, I was kept alive by a power greater than my self. It was not just luck. Today I believe that the purpose in keeping me alive is to share my experience, strength, and hope with the world and show others that struggle with drugs and alcohol that a new life is possible. Carrying that message is my ultimate job today.
My reason for this post today is to share my struggle with that spiritual progress. Even though I am on the road to permanent faith, I struggle on a daily basis with my prayer and meditation. Back in the summer I had my schedule set for my prayer time in the morning. Of course this was right about the time of my spiritual awakening. It was a high that I had never felt before. SO, it only seems natural that my time with God at this point would have prospered. Today, even though my faith has grown, my actions in prayer have not. So on the list of things to do is work on my prayer and meditation. With that I will end with Thank you God for my sobriety and all the blessings you have given me!