Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Letting God Be God
As a drug addict and alcoholic I can definitely say that I am not in the out come business. As much as I want to think that I have control over what happens in my life the reality of it is that I don't. It took me a really long time to figure out that this was a big part of my using and drinking. Fear of the out come, joy of the out come, disappointment in the out come. All because I thought sincerely that I had some control. So I went out and got blasted for all these reasons. How foolish and egotistical is that to think that I would have all that power. The power to make people do what I wanted. To make them love me... After a few hours sober I have learned that I have to do my part in life. This ultimately is doing the next right thing. And only then do I have some influence on my life. But even then after doing all the right things, the result can end up being different from what I wanted. Today, I am OK with that. I have to be. I cannot change the way things go. So now I get out of the way and quit trying to control the uncontrollable. For example, I took the risk and was let go by my company so I can work on my own business and getting it up and running. I can sit here and worry and let the anxiety consume me or I can just work as hard as I can and what will be will be. It is all in God's hands now. And I truly believe that everything will be OK. Whether the business fails or succeeds. I will be OK. Ultimately that is all that matters. I went to a meeting last night that my sponsor chaired and the topic was about letting God be God. Step out of the way and let things take the course they are suppose to take. Having learned to accept this, I have found a peace that I cannot describe. I truly have nothing to worry about ever!