Payoffs

I am thinking about a lot today.  After reading the daily meditation about Payoffs from Destructive Relationships and the conversation I had with my friends last night I have reached a bit more clarity.  It is time to put myself back out there and start dating again.  It is time to be open to someone that is honest, kind, loyal, and fun.  Here lies a few big questions.  First, where does one meet a sober, not so crazy, smart, attractive, outdoor and rock n roll loving woman over the age of thirty?  Second, how akward will those first moments be with out a cocktail in my hand?  Lots to learn here...  The last relationship I had was full to the brim with Vodka and Cocaine on both ends.  So approaching the subject sober will be a huge change.  Now  I am going to toss this concept out there that is so so taboo in the rooms...  Sex and intimacy.  Oh the joys of relearning how to live life with a clear mind and heart.  Ulimately it comes to being open minded and willing to allow new postive people into my life and to stay on the tracks heading forward.  Which is impossible if I continue to look back.  So the Payoffs are standing on my own two feet, being open to someone much better suited for me, and having the confidence in my self and my accomplishments.