Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Last night I had the opportunity to be a part of a discussion about what a blessing it is to be sober. There was a new comer in the room and while every one was sharing I was thinking about the events of the last two months and where I was this time last year. In the last two months I have started a series of oral surgeries, found out I have a torn meniscus and will have to have knee surgery and I will be finding out this week (hopefully) what is happening with the buy out of the company I work for. Now this time last year any or all of these things would have had me out of my mind and completely wasted. I would have been making excises for my behavior, putting my health at risk, pushing myself to a jail, an institution or death. Today, I don't have to revel in that madness. Tonight, my ass will be exactly will be where it needs to be sitting in a chair in a meeting and not in a bar stool. It is truly a blessing to have found the God of my understanding that has forgiven me for my mistakes and has kept me under his wing safe and sober. It is truly a blessing to be able to make the right decisions today to ensure that I am continuously working towards emotional sobriety and what is best for my life and not worrying about what is best for anyone else. Some of these steps have not been easy and have required a lot of introspection and work. But I would not trade the peace and serenity I have today for anything. Today, I have learned to accept everyday life, good or bad, with out having to use drugs or climb into a bottle. Now that I have cleared the majority of the self made bullshit from my life I am able to live happy, joyous, and free. It was really kind of funny last night at my therapy session, I realized I had nothing to really talk about and it was a relief. That might be the biggest blessing of all. No more chaos! This will only allow for great things to come my way!