This is some homework that was suppose to be done a few weeks ago, and my procrastination of the assignment only makes me think that it is something I might be having a hard time with. Believe that, a drug addict and alcoholic having a hard time with self worth. Well it is a very good question. What do I deserve? There are those folks in AA that believe that we deserve nothing. Human beings are entitled to nothing. Well one of the best things about AA is I can take what I need and leave the rest. What are the chances that I will hear some bullshit in a room full of drunks right. Anyways I do believe that I deserve certain things in life. Now this is not an extravagant list by any means. But there are somethings that are necessary in my life.
Happiness is the first thing I deserve. Now this is not something, like most of the things on my list, that does not come with out some work. The opportunity for myself to be happy comes from a few things. The first is staying sober. I know I will never be happy if I go back to the drugs and the booze. I also have to learn. It is only through wisdom that I can protect myself from the people, places, and things that are bad for me and that directly affect my happiness. Happiness is really the umbrealla for which everything else falls under. I deserve to have someone in my life. A partner if you will. We as human beings need other people in our lives for our survival. And after all what is a life with out a partner to push you, to love you, to support you, to make love to you, and the list goes on and on. The partner umbrella has quite a few things under it. Things I have mentioned before such as honesty, and loyalty, patience, and compassion. These are things that I deserve not only out of a partner but out of all the people in my life. And I deserve to give it back as well. Surely if I am not loving, kind, and patient, then I do not deserve these traits from anyone much less a partner. So for the most part I should be in pretty good shape in this department. Last, but not least, I deserve peace. Peace in my mind, peace in my body, and peace all around me. This falls under both of the before mentioned. This will come from doing what I need to do for myself and others, consistently looking inward for self improvement, learning when to let go and let God, forgiveness of myself, and acceptance of everything. This list of tasks is never complete. It is one of constant and persistent work. As long as I continue on this path, I will get what I deserve.