The Time was Wrong

Tonight, I am sitting here at my desk listening to music  like I do on most nights.  I have been doing a little on line shopping, reading and web surfing.  A few minutes ago Dire Strait's Romeo and Juliet shuffled into the mix.  For those of you that dont know, this might be one of the best love songs ever written.  Obviously it is a play on Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.  While I sit hear listening to the song over and over thinking about so much that I have been wanting to put into words.  I guess it is time for me to expose a little bit more of my underbelly and get it all out...  It is time for me to put into words about my broken heart.  It is funny how often I think about how easy it is usually for me to immediately forget about people that have wronged or hurt me.  Typically there is only one shot with me.  Screw me once and we are done for good.  Unfortunately, my feelings for that woman were something beyond anything I have ever felt.  My therapist might not approve of me writing this but oh well.  .  In October of 2010 I thought for sure I had met the one.  Now looking back on it, we were perfect for each other in every aspect except for one thing.  She did not love me back.  I fought hard, including getting sober, to prove how much I loved her and what I was willing to do to make it work.  But in the end, like she said in her last email, "I never loved you."  Those are hard words to hear after she had said"I love you" hundred times over, along with many other things that would have made me think other wise.  It has now been almost 6 months since we last spoke, not including the two emails she sent.  One to end it, and the one to tell me that she never loved me and that she never wanted to see me again.  I really thought after we reconnected this summer, we were finally on our way.  I guess not.  Today, I think about her less and less, but still every day.  I have accepted that we will never speak or see each other again.  I can pretend that I am a big tough guy and say that after all this time it does not hurt any more but that would be a lie.  I guess the part that really hurts the worst is knowing the people that never really gave  a shit about how far she had fallen are still in her life but I am not.  She probably has denied most of this and would never admit to any one else that I was the one there that kept her from losing everything. I know the truth and that is all that matters.  I have finally decided that I am going to leave women alone for a long time.  No need in getting mixed up with anyone else until my heart has had time to heal.  And as much as I would like for this healing process to be a quick one, it is not.  I am going to use this time to focus on myself.  I have so much to accomplish in the next few years.  Hopefully the right person will come along and they will be able to love me back.  In the mean time, I love the person that I have become, whether you do or not! As, I listen to the sweet sound of Mark Knopfler's dobro, this is line that bites to the bone, "How can you look at me as if I was just another one of your deals".

Romeo and Juliet

Songwriters: KNOPFLER, MARK

A lovestruck Romeo sings the streets a serenade
Laying everybody low with a lovesong that he made
Finds a streetlight steps out of the shade
Says something like you and me babe how about it?

Juliet says hey it's Romeo, you nearly gimme me a heart attack
He's underneath the window she's singing hey la my boyfriend's back
You shouldn't come around here singing up at people like that
Anyway what you gonna do about it?

Juliet the dice were loaded from the start
And I bet and you exploded in my heart
And I forget I forget the movie song
When you gonna realise it was just that the time was wrong Juliet?

Come up on different streets they both were streets of shame
Both dirty both mean yes and the dream was just the same
And I dreamed your dream for you and now your dream is real
How can you look at me as if I was just another one of your deals?

When you can fall for chains of silver you can fall for chains of gold
You can fall for pretty strangers and the promises they hold
You promised me everything you promised me thick and thin yeah
Now you just say oh Romeo yeah you know I used to have a scene with him

Juliet when we made love you used to cry
You said I love you like the stars above, I'll love you till I die
And there's a place for us, you know the movie song
When you gonna realise it was just that the time was wrong Juliet?

I can't do the talk like they talk on tv
And I can't do a love song like the way it's meant to be
I can't do everything but I'd do anything for you
I can't do anything except be in love with you

And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be
All I do is keep the beat, the bad company
And all I do is kiss you through the bars of Orion
Juliet I'd do the stars with you any time

Juliet when we made love you used to cry
You said I love you like the stars above and I'll love you till I die
There's a place for us you know the movie song
When you gonna realise it was just that the time was wrong Juliet?

A lovestruck Romeo sings the streets a serenade
Laying everybody low with a lovesong that he made
Finds a convenient streetlight steps out of the shade
Says something like you and me babe how about it?
You and me babe, how about it?