Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Reasonable Expectations

According to my sponsor who has 22 years of sobriety it is ok to have "reasonable expectations".  Its late and I am tired so I am not going to go into what "reasonable expectations" are.  I think it is pretty self explanatory...  Tonight I am feeling let down, embarrassed and burnt out and here are the reasons why.  First, the person I mention from time to time as my special person had been going on and on about buying me a birthday present that truly represented her love and affection for me.  Finally she decided that a plane ticket to Colorado for my birthday would be appropriate.  We had decided to go to Vail and go camping, a couple of dinners and I would be headed back to Atlanta.  It was quite reasonable for me not to expect to get an email two days before I am suppose to leave Atlanta, saying the trip was canceled, please do not contact me.  Now, did I expect, once I got there for things to be a little nutty?  Sure...  But to renege on my birthday present that was very unexpected.  Of course there was no apology and I went way crazy and said a bunch of shit I should have never said and now we will never speak again...  All this because I wanted to see her for my birthday... With the ticket she bought as my present...  Yeah, I am still at a loss.

Now, if that was not enough for you try this on for size... So after completely wrecking my profesional career the last few years, I had finally found the perfect job to get back on my feet with...  A mid level inside sales postition, with good money, great benefits, close to my house and a well know product.  After about six weeks I began to hit my stride and starting closing deals..  This was also about the time I started hearing rumors about the company being sold.  Yet I kept working.  The rumors kept flying and I kept closing, well ramped up before the 17 weeks that I was given to do so.  Then on Monday evening I heard a rumor that the office is closing a month early and anything I sell in the month of August, I will not get paid commision on in September...  Now here is a few very important details I cannot leave out.  In the first week on the job my boss had me in his office to bitch at me about the hour I took for lunch, and two other things I cannot remember.  We have argued over dentist appointments I have not taken yet, and wether one deal is better than no deals,  My boss hired me knowing I would be out of a job in three months and also knowing that I might not get paid for the book of business I have built.  Here is the kicker, I had the highest number on the board today, so my boss hits my desk with a roll of wrapping paper hard and asks about my numbers in front of the whole office.  I am sorry sir you are asking me about numbers that i have sold for a company that no longer exists that I may or may not get paid on.....


From what I have been taught over the last 9 months, it is ok to have reasonable expectations of the people in my life.  So what happens when even those begin to fail?  Obviously, I am not going back to drinking and drugging, but...  Am I suppose to expect everything to go wrong, and when something good happens I am surpised.  It was reasonable to expect to get on that plane.  It is reasonable to expect to get paid for the work I do...  What I do know, is that people will always let you down.  Maybe that is just what I need to expect! 

So to make up for my birthday trip being abruptly canceled I am headed on a solo camping and fishing trip.  Four days of solitude and the great outdoors.  Western North Carolina does not compare to Vail, but it will do.  And for that time I dont have to worry about any one failing me but me!

1 comment:

  1. People are just that...human. Life can be disappointing at times. I think most of us have been where you are. We are indeed lucky if we have a handful of people in our entire lives who we can trust fully. Take a moment and look around. Take inventory on your retreat. I KNOW you have more than a few people who have never and will never let you down IF it is in their power!