I had a long conversation last night with a fellow alcoholic about fear. Fear was a huge trigger for this alcoholic for a very long time. Fear of not being liked, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of loss, and the fear of success are just a few things that I used as excuses to go out and use drugs and abuse alcohol. Last night in this conversation I shared with my friend that I have been hearing a lot of fear lately about drinking and using and how it has started to frustrate me. I no longer have to live with those fears nor do I want to. Is fearing a relapse the best way for me to think so I dont? Of course not. I KNOW I will be dead in three days, three weeks, or three months if I go back to that life. Is it something I need to fear today? Absolutley not. It is a simple fact of my life. Fear is a feeling not a fact. And the facts of my life determine how I live today! What I also know to be a fact is that I do not go out and drink because of all the blessings I have in my life today because I am sober! Fact, my relationship with my family is 100% better than it has ever been. Grateful! Fact, I have a fantastic career again with the opportunity to make a comfortable life for myself! Grateful! Fact, I have an amazing relationship with God, that allows me to handle any situation that may arise! Grateful! Fact, I have the love and encourgement from a group of friends that I have never had! Grateful! Fact, I have peace today that I have never had in my entire life! Grateful! Fact, I have had and will awlays have the opportunity of helping another drug addict and alcoholic! Grateful! Fact, I love myself today and it shows! Grateful! Fact, I have a beautiful baby neice! Grateful! Fact, today these are the blessings in my life that give a reason to stay sober. These are the reasons that give me the strength to handle situations that use to baffle me! Life is and will forever be full of challenges and ups and downs and today I have the courage and faith in my self and my higher power to make sure I ALWAYS TRY to do the next right thing! Progress not perfection. This is my experience, strength, and hope today!
Remember to pray today! It works!